Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
