But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
