I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize