nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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