its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
