Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Randomize
