Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
