U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
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