Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
