Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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