So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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