I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
