No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
