WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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