dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
