birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
