Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
