My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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