But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
