your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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