Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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