i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
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