There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
