it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
