so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
