do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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