Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Randomize