please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
