i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Randomize
