you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
