Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
