Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
