C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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