if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
