it hurts more in the daytime
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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