These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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