The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Randomize
