once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
