i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Randomize