What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
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