Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Someone signed my nipple.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
