i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
