Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
