Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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