Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
