i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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