Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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