just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
