no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
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