she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
