god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
