I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
