You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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