Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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