I love having hate sex.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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